Back On The Exercise Bandwagon

I've been getting back in shape, y'all. Cue pleasantly surprised applause. Crickets? Darn.

Well, I haven't been doing it for very long, so there's a chance I'll fall right back off again, but I have hope. The other bride bloggers on weddingbee.com have inspired me to not neglect my fitness just because I've got more demands on my time right now. Here's what I've been up to:

Diet

I haven't been eating the best diet, but I haven't been eating too badly and I certainly haven't gained any weight. I do have the lucky (I think?) benefit of the opposite of stress eating. When I'm stressed, like I've been with planning this wedding, I don't eat. I will go all day and night and then it occurs to me to eat. It's not that I even get hungry, it's that it crosses my mind that it's been 15+ hours since I've eaten.

I've also been staying away from junk food and fast food for the most part. It's just that pesky home-made baked goods that get to me. I can't help it, I like baking for my man. Easy appreciates it, so I'll keep doing it, just maybe a little less.

Exercise @ Home
My Wii Fit Plus is my best friend. I want to keep it up, but it's hard to find the time when there's so many other things I could be doing at home. But I took some time out of my day yesterday to exercise, and I hope to keep it up the on my next day off. Wish me luck!

Exercise on a Date
Easy and I took a long walk after dinner the other night. It was romantic and sweet. And it was a good exercise. I felt great after that walk. I wasn't tired like I usually am after a big dinner. I'd love to make that a routine to get in some exercise on date nights. At least while it's still warm. I'm not going for a one hour walk in Chicago past October. Maybe by then we'll go jogging instead.

Exercise Away From Home
Starting today, I'm going back to yoga classes. I figure if I go right when I get off work to the early morning class, I should be able to work it into my schedule without losing sleep or anything else. I'm going to try it out this weekend since I work three days and see how it goes. If it goes well, it will be my new plan. Toned thighs, I will welcome you back to my world shortly.

Future Hobby/Plans
I miss rock climbing and ballroom dancing. They were great ways to exercise and have fun. I'll work them into my schedule at some point. Sooner rather than later, I hope.

Not Accepting That The Honeymoon Could Be Over

Easy and I have been having some issues lately. I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say they've been big enough where he's questioned more than once whether I would leave him over it.

I think we learned a lot about love and trust and communication in this past week. We learned the actions that match our feelings and words. I was confronted, for the first time, with the depths of my emotion and just what that meant for us as a couple.

After spending years as an emotional dwarf, I've been opening up to Easy about things more and more. Feeling betrayal wasn't something I was prepared to handle. Now that I've been forced to, I honestly feel stronger coming out on the other side of it.

Been tested by fire and emerged stronger. Maybe that means the honeymoon phase is over. Isn't that usually what happens? Reality sets in and suddenly all your fantasies about how things could always be happy float away, like so many hot air balloons.

But I refuse to accept it. Easy certainly wants us to stay in our honeymoon phase forever. I think we can. Knowing that any and every blow to our happiness won't keep us from finding that place again makes me even more confident. Nothing will stop us from looking like this for at least part of every day.

Back From The Dead!

My phone is back! Oh yeah!!

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I'm feeling very happy because I don't have to shell out unexpected money to get a new Blackberry. I already had to do that last month for my car breaks. Goodness, this being an adult thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I knew that, but I prefer to focus on the positive. And I'm positively happy my phone decided to just start working again.

I miss my friends. I need to catch up with them. I've barely updated <a href="http://quitethelovelife.blogspot.com/">my other blog</a> with info on their love lives.

And my parents would normally be concerned I'd fallen off the face of the earth. But their new son, Easy is waaay better at keeping in touch than I am. So they know I'm alive 'cause they both talk to him a couple times a week. I think it's pretty sweet actually.

Even though there's so much going on all the time with friends, family, work, romance, and wedding, I finally feel like I can breathe. Maybe it's because I"m getting in a groove. Maybe it's cause Easy and I finally settled an issue that's been hanging out in the background for a while. I'm not sure entirely, but I feel good.

I'm tired as hell cause I only got 3 hours of sleep last night, but I feel good.

I have a very busy weekend coming up with this engagement party, but I feel good.

My apartment still isn't completely unpacked, but I feel good.

Smile!

Missing My Mister

Easy is a musician. Did I mention that? Well, he plays the alto saxophone and he has a music group called Quatuor de Force, a jazz quartet.

He's been writing music and this past week he's been practicing with his group to record a CD. That's right, he put together an album. His music is amazing, and if you like jazz or neo soul or just good music, you'd love what he's written.

While he was working on actually recording the music, I didn't see him for days. He and I haven't gone too many days without talking since we decided to date exclusively last October. Even when he was in Europe for a month, between gmail and video chat, we still spoke almost every day.

Though Easy has been busy recording his album, it didn't take 24 hours of each day. I worked Wed-Fri though and slept almost the entire time I wasn't at work. Add to that the fact that my BlackBerry has given up on cooperating with my desire to use it for any purpose other than an alarm clock, and we have no way to communicate.

I was missing my man like crazy! Getting home from work on Saturday morning after my shift ended made my heart swell. Being away from him sucks!

Breadsticks and Bothersome Waitresses

First let me say that Easy read yesterday's post about the cute redhead from the Whiffenpoofs and he is indeed judging me. Whatever, he doesn't know my life.

Moving on to today's topic. I went to dinner at Olive Garden with a friend of mine the other day that was very interesting for several reasons.

1. She's the younger sister of the Ex.
Even though he and I haven't spoken to in over 2 years, I have remained friends with some of his family members. I'm like a big sister to her, so we went out to dinner to catch up in person instead of always over the phone.

She and I haven't discussed the Ex in years because he never comes up. I don't care to ask and she doesn't offer any info. She did mention him though. She told me how she had been mad at him for literally years since he and I first broke up in 2008.

She said they had talked about how he regretted letting me go, but how he figured I would never take him back. I wasn't trying to hear that "one who got away" mess. I told her she didn't need to be upset any longer at her brother because I was very happy. And even though she and I were never going to be real sisters, I would always be there for her, just like I've been since the day we met.

She also gave me a heads up that he was moving back to Chicago next year and she was considering becoming roommates with him. That will be interesting because he and I are not going to be friends. I guess I'll just see her everywhere but at her own house, ha ha.



quite the understatement actually



2. Our waitress at Olive Garden was the oddest waitressing waitress I've had possibly ever.

When you think of a bad waitress, you think of being ignored, forced to suffer through a long lull between each meal portion, and possibly having your food spilled on you or an incorrect bill.

That's the opposite of what happened to us. You might think the opposite of those above horrors is a perfect waitress.

But it's not! It's a crazy attentive waitress. I mean CRAZY attentive. That woman must've come by our table to ask if we were okay 40 times in the hour we were there. I am not exaggerating. She was there literally every 1.5 minutes.

Each time she came, she tried to move us on to the next portion of our meals. She would take our food order before our drinks were up. So we had our soup and salad while we had our drinks. That seems like a great idea, but it was just the start of a disturbing trend.

When she brought our soup and salad, she took our food menu. Then she brought us our food before we were done and tried to take our soup and salad. We told her to just leave both.

Five minutes later, she took our dessert order. We were confused why she was ordering it then, but she said she wasn't going to put it right in. 2 table visits later (3 minutes), she brings our dessert.

So we're sitting there with a table full of food, becoming irritated that she's basically shoving us out the door. The manager comes by to see how we're doing and marvels that we chose to have all our food at once. We tell him that's not at all what happened.

Then she comes back to the table to apologize but that she thought we wanted our dessert before we finished our dinner. And our appetizers. She got this look.

 

And then, she began trying to clear our plates. We wouldn't let her take anything until we had finished. And of course, then she took 10 minutes to bring our check. I paid the bill and we high-tailed it out of there.

 

I've been to that Olive Garden soo many times over the years, but that was just weird.

3. The weather coming back was like something out of a horror movie.
It was pouring down raining when we left the restaurant. Seriously, there were comically large raindrops. And it was bright sunshine and at least 80 degrees.

When I dropped Melody off back home, the sky was scary looking, but the rain had stopped.

As I drove back home, there were huge lightning bolts that looked like they were 100 feet from the expressway. And right when I exited the expressway, hail started falling. I

There were huge chunks of hail blowing sideways in very strong wind. Then the rain started back up with the comically large raindrops. All while it was still over 80 degrees. But the sun had gone away. While it should still be bright outside, it was suddenly dark as night.

I've never been so glad to get home. That was science fiction movie weather. I blame it on Indiana. Every time myself or a friend goes to Indiana, something freaky or horrible happens. It's a proven (I'm making this up) fact.

I Develop The Most Random Crushes

Don't worry, Easy is used to me talking about random ass crushes I have on people.

There is a show I love. It's on NBC. It's called The Sing-Off. If you get it, great. If you don't, this is not my time to defend or explain.

This show's second season has become an obsession of mine. I watch the DVR'd episodes a lot. Recently, I've taken to watching YouTube videos of certain perfomances.

And after watching the Whiffenpoofs sing "I Just Haven't Met You Yet", oh, say, 50 times, it's occured to me I have a crush on this one guy.

He's the red-head who looks like he was rather mischievious as a child. He's just so adorable to me. Don't judge me, Easy.

I must admit, the crush is mostly about his voice. And his smile. And his hair. And his voice. And I love a man in a suit. Ahem, moving on.

But he's the one guy in the group who actually has soul in his voice. I couldn't help but accidentally brainwash myself into being into him. But this is a college group, so I hope he's at least 21.

If you don't get it, watch this video. Listen to the whole thing, but around 1:11 and again around 1:55, I just go weak in the knees. Okay, I'm done talking about my latest crush.

Applying To Be A Weddingbee And Other Related Wedding TidBits

Tonight I finally submitted my application to my favorite wedding blog to join up. I mentioned this waaay back in March. You can read the post here.

From what I hear, I won't know for a couple of weeks whether or not I'll get accepted. Until that time, you all will be forced to hear all about the planning details of my wedding.

Our wedding guest list is still still still not done. My family and Easy's family all sat down on Sunday afternoon. We managed to get the list down to 291 from 425. But that's not even close to where it needs to be.

I've long since given up on the hope of my small wedding. People keep telling me I shouldn't be surprised since our wedding party is so large. Kind of like this.



Image of Scottish wedding



But I think that's unfair. If it were up to me, it'd be that many people standing up with us and that many sitting in the audience. But now I've tried to be realistic and accept 250. I'd prefer 200 because I'm thinking of my parents' budget.

But there is good news from the weekend. I. Got. A. Wedding. Dress. And I love it! I will not be showing my dress here since my fiance Easy reads this blog all the time and he's not allowed to see the dress. But here were some major candidates.

These dresses are Anjolique, DaVinci Bridals, and Allure Bridals respectively. You can find them by just going to the websites of the three wedding dress designers.

Searching for a wedding dress taught me a lot about perceptions. I went in feeling more convinced of my pre-conceived notions about my dress should look, but my mother was convinced I was all wrong.

I didn't get a sweetheart neckline, but it was definitely the most flattering on me. I didn't want a white dress, and though I fell in love with one, I ultimately chose a taupe dress. A line was the most bridal-feeling to me even though mermaid was damn sexy. And I was, and still am, completely opposed to any type of train, no matter how beautiful.

Next, I'll be figuring out how to make time to do a DIY project for our engagement photo shoot that is now only 6 days away. Yikes!

Six Degrees of Separation

Anyone ever found out their significant other dated someone you knew? How about someone you knew well? How about someone you knew really well?

Yeah, well that happened to Easy and I last weekend. We had already long ago discussed our past relationship history. Easy and I tend to over-share anyway, plus neither of us wanted the other to ever be in a situation to deal with surprises.

Easy has a friend from high school. They met up to hang out last weekend and Easy was telling this old friend from high school about his new fiancee. When he showed him a picture, the friend was surprised to find he knew the woman in the picture. He informed Easy that he knew me when I was in medical school.

Turns out I know this guy because I went on a couple of dates with one of his classmates in law school. When he and I discovered we had absolutely no chemistry and our involvement was going to go nowhere, I moved on... to another friend in their group. These guys weren't friends at all actually, but they moved in the same circle. I met the second guy through the first.

Moving on. This second guy is the one I dated for a number of months. He and I didn't work out because he had some habits I couldn't get over. We have remained friendly and Easy knew of this guy by name. I never mentioned his last name though. Apparently I should have because this guy went to high with Easy and the guy who recognized my picture.

Easy and I had a discussion about it on and off for a couple of days. He seemed pretty upset about finding out I dated someone he knew (years ago) and used to hang around (years ago). I got upset because I felt like it was his fault that it was a surprise. When he told me about his past relationships/dating folks, I asked follow up questions if there was a chance I knew them.

I ruled out names, professions, colleges, and ages. I know for a fact that I have a ton of degrees of separation between myself and these women. But he didn't do his due diligence. He recognized a name and college and just assumed it couldn't be the same guy.

We've settled the issue since then, but it was a lesson learned. Even with our over-sharing, it's possible to be surprised by information about our partner. He's fine that I'm still friendly with this guy because this guy know I'm engaged, and he's dating someone else now, so there's no torch-holding going on for me.

And this led to a discussion of our values about gender stereotypes and double standards. I won't get into it, but let's just say that there is some unequal judgement of pasts that was (is?) going on. Honestly, I'm just glad we're able to have these discussions no matter how uncomfortable because we know that there's nothing either of us could say to make us change our minds about spending the rest of our lives together.

Why I Stayed Awake For Almost 36 Hours Straight

I drove home from work early Thursday morning with full intentions of getting lots of good sleep so I could enjoy the rest of my time off before having to be back at work Friday evenings. I'm not sure if I explained that I work nights. 7pm to 7am.

While on the way home, I spoke with Easy about my concerns over informing exes about our engagement. The reason I love him so much is that I can talk to him about anything. With only a very few exceptions, he and I don't seem to possess the insecurity or jealousy genes.

He had already informed most of his exes that he was going to propose. That's right, he told them before he even did it. But his way of telling them seemed very successful, so I made plans to call up my people and let them know that very day.

I got home around 9 am with plans to make a quick few phone calls and then get some sleep. But then no one answered. And then I remembered I still hadn't spoken to my godmother or my pastor. And then I remembered I wanted to call some family members of one of my exes to tell them since we are still very friendly.

Long story short, I didn't get off the phone until 12:30 pm. At which point, I had to leave the house to go pickup one of my bridesmaids to take her to the doctor (car trouble). Then I realized I still haven't officially told the rest of my bridesmaids I was engaged.

I intended to tell them when I saw them. Once that plan was in place, I suddenly didn't see them for four days. Go figure. So I made plans to hang out with two of them and go to the movies with two more that night. I called the ones who were going to the movies and told them over the phone since the movies weren't til later. I finally informed them all, just in time to go to have coffee with PT.

He wanted to catch up and we did. I told him about the new job and about being engaged. I was so worried about the conversation and how it would go, but he didn't ask about timelines, so I didn't have to tell him he and Easy overlapped. But then PT began giving me how-to-avoid-getting-divorced advice, which I will be taking with a grain of salt seeing as how he is divorced.

I finally went to see Hangover 2 that night. And I was deliriously sleepy. I never fall asleep on movies, but I missed a whole 4 minutes of that movie. I finally crawled into bed and chatted with Easy until I fell asleep.

I was glad to get certain notifications out to the people. Since I'm not on Facebook, there was no other way for my exes to find out and I really am glad they heard from me early on. It's not like they're harboring torches for me, but it's just the principle. Plus, after what happened to my girl Michelle (another bridesmaid!) Friday night, I feel even more strongly that calling them was a good idea.

Speaking of notifications, I have to work on finding formal invitations to the wedding party to ask them to be a part. I have to have 24. Easy and I will both have a best man and maid of honor, we have two flower girls, two ring bearers, and he has 8 groomsmen, and I have 2 bridal attendant (males) and 6 bridesmaids. Crazy, right? Well, we do what we want cause we're rebels.

I have decided that I will still apply to be a Bee, but in the meantime, you all will have to listen to me yakkety yak yak about wedding stuff and I will also set up a classic wedding website. The classic site is for guests to go to to get info about the wedding, it won't be blogging. I may change my mind because I do that a lot. But thanks for the congratulations and please bear with me as I manage to put together a wedding in less than 9 months!

Gonna Get Married, But There's More To My Life, Part 1

I have only 8 1/2 months to plan a wedding! Yikes! What was I thinking?!?!

Well, I know what I was thinking. I love Easy so much, and I wanted to press fast forward on the process toward becoming his wife as much as possible. Still having a wedding that falls 1 year 7 months 9 days after we first met is pretty good timing I think. I'm just glad Easy agreed with me that moving forward at this speed is the best idea for the two of us.

That being said, there are other things going on in my life. 1. Men I used to date who still don't know I'm engaged yet. 2. Looking for an apartment. 3. Settling into this new job and the financial situation that goes along with it.

1. Yeah... so I didn't send out some sort of mass text to everyone I've ever talked to that may or may not pop back up again. I think that would just be odd. And since I'm not on Facebook, I don't have the benefit of spreading the news simply by changing my relationship status.

So what is my plan of action? I figure I'll tell them if and when they pop up. Except two got ahead of schedule; instead of popping up after the engagement, they popped up a few days before I was engaged.

One is my ex-boyfriend from college, who I have referred to as Light in my other blog, texted me to see how I was last week. I feel like I should tell him because we have so many mutual friends and I'm sure he will be offended if he doesn't hear it from me. But we only catch up every couple months or so.

Since we caught up last week, I'm wondering if I should call him up to tell him or wait until the next time it's reasonable to be back in contact and risk him hearing it from someone else? I only care because our break-up and subsequent roller coaster friendship cause quite a bit of hullabaloo amongst our college friends.

I don't want to once again be the asshole who didn't consider Light's feelings in the situation. Plus, if he were getting married, I'd like to know. Actually, I don't care, but I feel like I should care, you know?

Then there's PT. This is the guy I was still-sort-of-dating-but-definitely-still-liking when I met Easy. In fact, I wrote an interesting post comparing the two men that you can read here (sorry for bringing that back up Easy). PT popped up again right before I got engaged wanting to catch up.

I mentioned in a previous blog post that we planned on going for coffee but I have PT firmly in my unreliable category, so I didn't expect that we'd actually catch up. But he texted me again to set a specific time for Thursday evening to go have coffee. I feel like somewhere in there I should have mentioned the life changes, but all I mentioned was the new job. It just felt... weird... to bring it up via text. And when we first talked about meeting to catch up, there was no engagement.

Waiting to say, "I'm in a relationship now" makes sense. Waiting to say, "I'm engaged now" makes less sense. But the major concern is that I met Easy before PT and I were done. We were fizzling out, but weren't done yet.

When we fizzled out, I figured I'd never have to hear from him again except for the next time Cody Ross (google him, he's awesome) does something fantastic, and even then it wouldn't be to catch up, it would be a quick conversation that wouldn't include information about either of our lives.

If I'm lucky, he'll have a girlfriend and simply be interested in being one of those people who stays friends with all his old flames.

I wish Easy were the type of guy who was against staying friends with exes. But both he and I are pretty nonchalant about it. I'm nonchalant cause I mostly don't care to maintain those friendships myself, but I'm not the jealous type. He does in fact maintain those friendships, but he's also not jealous. So I have no reason not to try and make the best of these interesting situations.

I coffee tomorrow goes well and drama free, I may take the plunge and call up the ex from college before he hears it from someone else. And then I'll handle anyone else who pops up out of the woodwork as they arise. I guess that's what happens when I go through an.. abridged.. process towards the altar.

My friends who date people for like 5 years don't have these issues.

I Have Some Great News!

I'm engaged!

Easy proposed to me on Sunday night! He managed to surprise me in spite of the fact that we've been talking about weddings and marriage and engagement for longer than we've even been officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

What can I say? We're rebels. We do what we want.

The ring is beautiful. It is a pink sapphire with diamonds around it and pave diamonds on the band. It's white gold and just fantastic. At some point, I'll put up pictures of it.

I'm contemplating whether I want to start a separate wedding blog or just write about it here. I would love to be a Bee for weddingbee.com, so if that happens, I'll just blog there and link to the posts here.

I'm sure you want to know the basics of our engagement, so I'll recap. Easy came home for Memorial Day weekend. He took my father out to brunch Sunday, seemingly obviously to ask for my hand in marriage.

We had plans to hang out the whole rest of the day. Easy told me he was too nervous to ask my father, but that they'd scheduled another time to go out and talk. I was disappointed, but not worried cause they have a great relationship and I figured that gave him more time to get the ring and not have too much pressure on him.

We went to a barbeque his cousin threw and then headed back to my parents' house. We were supposed to go out for drinks with friends, but I was so tired, I just wanted to go home. Plus I was sleepy and still a bit hungry.

For Easy and me, that means we're going to get into an argument. But even though I was sleepy and we were irritated with each other, before he drove off, I asked him to wait. I gathered my things and headed back to the car. I told him I was going to rally and we were going to go have drinks with our friends.

He hugged me and kissed me and told me how much he loved me and that he didn't want to fight anymore. While we were hugging, he asked me to marry him. His exact words were, "will you marry me?" I said, "yes I'll marry you baby."

I said it nonchalantly because Easy asks me to marry him about twice a month. But then he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring. I was flabbergasted and exclaimed, "Oh wow! You mean it this time!" Then he said a bunch more sweet things that I don't remember because I was so surprised and amazed and overwhelmed.

There was kissing and hugging and I-love-yous. He put the ring on my finger and it was gorgeous! It was exactly what I wanted. He had it made to look like a combo of three different rings that I loved. He did good.

We went to have drinks with our friends. These are the friends whose wedding we met at last July. They were the first people we told. Neither of us really wanted to spend time calling a whole bunch of people and have to talk about what just happened. We just wanted to enjoy the moment.

After we hung out with our friends, we came back home and woke up my parents to tell them. Then we went to his parents house and fell right asleep. We woke up in the morning and told his parents we were engaged. Everyone was so excited!

I know I've been using a lot of exclamation marks, I'm just so happy.

We've hammered out a couple of details so far, but we have so much to do in just 8 1/2 months. Yes, we've set a date. Saturday, February 11, 2012. We know our colors will basically be gray and blue, specifically cobalt blue, dove gray, and pewter. We know we want our rehearsal dinner at Quartino's on State Street in downtown Chicago.

We know who we want our wedding party to be. We know we want both of our pastors officiating the wedding. And I don't want to get married in a church, so I'm searching for venues around Chicago that I can have the ceremony and reception at all in one place.

That's all for now. I have a lot to do in not a lot of time, but aside from making calls to important people to tell them the news, I've been just basking in the joy of being engaged!

Dream Wedding Venue

I've put a good amount of thought into what I want and don't want for an upcoming wedding. Something I've thought about a lot is the wedding venue. I know I don't want to get married at my church or Easy"s church. But I know I won't have/don't want a huge wedding budget.

If the sky was the limit, I'd want a wedding reminiscent of being outdoors in the midst of nature. For where I live, the ultimate in that-- for my personal nature preference-- is the Chicago Botanical Garden. It's just north of the city and so fabulous.

Having a likely winter wedding, it would be indoors. That would bring down the potential cost, but not much. To have a wedding there, with all the table, chair, linen, etc. rentals, it would be upwards of $10,000 dollars.

But I can dream, you know?


These picture are summer wedding pics. Imagine it as a winter wonderland. Sigh.

But I am looking for somewhere to have a wedding that allow a feeling of nature in some how, doesn't what will likely be my entire budget, and when you see it makes sense as a wedding venue.

I will figure it out. I've got time. Hey, I'm not even doing official planning yet. I just know when Easy sees this post, it's gonna be hard to convince him that I'm not wedding crazy.

I swear I'm not. I'm just really indecisive, and figuring out my dreams and inspiration early will make everyone's life much easier. Trust me.

Just One Of Those Days

Wednesday was a day I'd like to not repeat too often. I only got one good thing accomplished today. But, bad news first.

I went to sleep last night because I was super tired and I couldn't stay up. Then I woke up at 6 am or so without having had a full night's rest. I figured this was a good thing because then I could get up for a few hours and then head to work and not be up for 20 hours like I was doing the first few days I worked.

That didn't go as planned. I got up and made breakfast, and just as I was settling back into the bed to chat with Easy while he was getting ready for work, my father comes into my room to ask me to take my mother to the emergency room.

I had already told her the night before that she should go to the ER because she was having acute stomach pain. She didn't listen to me. And now that it was time for me to get some sleep, now was the time to go. My father couldn't take her because he had to go to work. Her brother couldn't take her because he had to go to work. My brother couldn't take her because he's a lazy so-and-so. So, it was me.

My mother can't go to the emergency room without permission from her doctor. If her arm is about to fall off, she can go. But her arm wasn't about to fall off. We spent the rest of the time I should have been sleeping trying to track down the doctor on call for my mother's doctor, who was out of town (again).

Long story short, around 3:45, we still hadn't heard back from her doctor person, and I was running out of time. We had to decide whether or not to just take her to the emergency room for her pain that still hadn't gone away. Where was my brother in all of this? Chilling in his room! Freaking relaxing! It must be nice to be him.

So, I got no sleep, and I couldn't get into the shower to head to work until my brother got out of work. His defense for going before me? He had to be at work at 7. My mother informed him that I also had to be at work at 7, but I had to drive over an hour. I didn't have the heart to tell her I had to be there at 5 and was already late because of her ER situation.

So I finally headed off to work with one resolve: I no longer cared about how my parents felt about Easy and I moving in together. I needed out of that house. It's not fair that I'm the one who gets leaned on in these situations when there are other (albeit it less responsible) alternatives. If I were living in my apartment up north, they would have (and could have) worked it out without me.

And because I was late to work, I missed half of a mandatory training session. And because I missed it, I won't get credit for the part I did attend. And they only do that training once a year. I am on record for missing that training. That would not have happened if I lived elsewhere.

After not getting enough sleep last week because my brother can't be quiet during the day and having to choose between family and work this week, I'm more convinced than ever that I need to move. I need to move ASAP.

And if I'm moving and Easy is moving, it makes no sense for both of us to get 6 months leases, only to try and find 6 month leases again to move into together after we're officially married, and then figure out how to get to NYC if that's where we go next. That's a lot of moving and a big waste of money. My parents' won't like it, but that knowledge is undeniable.

The silver lining? Easy and I agreed on our plan of attack to officially announce this decision to move in together. We agreed on the reasoning and we agreed that we are going to wait until after I have a ring on my finger. And the exciting news is, Easy still says we'll be aiming to move into a new place by July. I added up those pieces of information, and I'm super excited. Did I mention that hardly anyone in my life is subtle?

I apologize if this post isn't completely coherent. I'm so sleepy, and the coffee is only keeping my eyes open, but not really keeping my brain functioning at its highest. And I'm spending my break at work blogging instead of napping or jogging around the block or something to wake me up. One of these days I'll figure it out.
 

Things That Don't Fit Into My New Life

There have been a couple of occurrences recently that don't fit into this fancy lovely wonderfully optimistic view I have of what my new life will be like.

The first is that I missed my friends' birthday celebration on Saturday night. Part of having this job meant having income and the ability to really do great things for my friends for their birthdays. But unfortunately, that didn't happen. My first paycheck is still weeks away, and having to go to work that isn't a 9-5 means missing events.

I honestly don't feel too bad about missing the event. I really wanted to be out with my people, but I was glad to have that sense of purpose to get to work. And my girl Gloria's birthday is coming up and she's having a birthday celebration this weekend. I'll be going to that and I'll make sure I let them know I'm celebrating both their birthdays that one night out.

The second thing that doesn't fit is having to sort out car-pooling to work. I spent a very long time today sorting out all the possibilities with public transportation. If we don't want to drive, we can take a combination of the CTA Green Line, the CTA bus, The Metra Train, The PACE bus, and a taxi to and from work. And that would take 2+ hours whereas driving takes 1 hour. And it would cost us and extra $50-100 each month.

Driving to work is the more affordable option. Crazy right? My vision of myself as one of those women hopping on the Metra, reading my Kindle on the way to work, will never be. At least not until I move up north and reassess the travel situation.

The third thing is that settling down with Easy is this wonderful thing that makes me feel like we're the only two people in the world. That is until an ex (or something like it) pops up. PT texted me on some "just running cross my mind" stuff. He asked how I was and if we could catch up soon.

After checking with Easy, who's very laissez-faire about involvement with exes, I agreed to grab coffee with him some day this week. I told him Wednesday or so worked for me this coming week. Since I agreed to catch up with him over coffee, I haven't heard from him, so we'll see if it happens or not.

But him popping up out of nowhere was a bit jarring. I haven't spoken to this man since I decided I preferred Easy over him. And we never had a "we need to talk" discussion. We just fizzled out. So why does he want to catch up? I don't know and mostly don't care. But I am glad that I have good things to report. The last time we spoke, I was floundering out in a jobless abyss. He picked a good time to catch up since I actually have life updates to report.

The last thing is that my wrist hurts. I think I slept on in weird a couple weeks ago, but it's been hurting since then. When I type it really hurts. That sucks because of my typing for blogging and the fact that almost all my job training is one the computer. Also, I'm worried that it's carpal tunnel or some sort of stress fracture. I'm not getting it checked out until my insurance kicks in mid-June, so I just hope whatever is wrong with it will be fine until then.

It just doesn't sit right with me that I could have some sort of health problem. My insurance hasn't kicked in yet damnit! But I guess if I had to start falling apart at any point while uninsured, just a few weeks before I can fix it is the best time.

Starting My New Job And Other Life Changes

So, I haven't fixed my computer issues, but I do have PC access as well as internet on my new job, and I'll be doing my best to keep up with blog posts on the nights I work. At least, one day in, that's my plan.

I've missed the blogging world. I've been trying to keep up with reading everyone's blogs, but I'm about three weeks behind. Consequently, I will be putting comments on blogs late as hell, ha ha.

Okay, so back to this new job. Everyone here is so shiny and happy. If you watch Grey's Anatomy, you probably get that reference. I'm not a Meredith or a Christina. I'm more of a little Grey. Shiny and happy (plus lots of windows in my office) works for me.

I don't think I will say where I'm working, but I feel that keeping it completely secret isn't warranted. A woman who was hired with me gave the company a shout out of her Facebook page. What I will do is say the type of work I'll be doing. I will be helping with organ donation. Expect plugs for signing up to be a donor for organs, tissue, blood, and bone marrow in the future.

There are also other big changes in my life that concern Easy. Our plan before I got  this job was for me to start looking for jobs in St. Louis and move down there at some point in the engagement/marriage plans we have for the next year (not next year, the next 12 months, well 9 months now). But that changed when I got this amazing job in Chicago.

Easy knows I would pack up and move for him if he got a great career opportunity, and he says he would do the same for me. Turns out, he wasn't just talking. His school year ends June 3rd. His roommate (plus one new wife) are settling into their apartment June 17th. So, we have to find a place in Chicago for us to move into by June 17th.

Did I forget to mention this wasn't at all the plan? Making this move so soon, while sorting out what he's going to do for employment, what we'll be paying in student loans, and when we're actually getting married engaged, was not the plan. Oh, and I have to find some way to tell my parents that we're going to live together before we're even engaged.

A big part of me is excited, another big part of me is trying to keep my feet on the ground about all the changes. I have been feeling for so long that my life was at a standstill with no forward movement. And suddenly, it's all moving forward very fast. I couldn't be happier about that fact. All of my frustration is gone. Finally!

Trying To Have "A Small Wedding"

First, let me explain what's up with the multiple wedding-themed posts. I don't think I come off as a particularly crazy person. I'm not engaged yet, but I will be sooner rather than later (at least that's what Easy keeps telling me).


Since the thought of being engaged and wed and married came up and had such a concrete timeline, I began looking at wedding blogs. I may be fanciful and hopeful and a dreamer, but I'm also a planner and somewhat realistic. Easy and I want a short engagement. That's not a lot of time to sort out all the details required to plan a wedding.


Also, I love blogging. It's my new thing that keeps me sane. One of my favorite wedding blogs, http://www.weddingbee.com/, has bloggers. They choose women that are on their way to getting married and have them post blogs about the process. This is something that I would love to do and therefore am writing on my personal blog with the types of posts I would put on that website, should I be chosen to be a Bee. I am submitting an application at once I get engaged because we will be within the timeline of approaching a wedding they want when selecting new Bees.


I think I have a unique take on the idea of planning a wedding. I certainly don't see a lot of Bees that look like me (I mean African-American). Also, I'm doing wedding planning, with the help of the man I'll be marrying, before we're even engaged. I have a lot of great ideas I'd love to explore and so cross your fingers that they'll choose me! If they do, I'll let you all know how to read everything I post there, in addition to all the other great content on the website.


Something I would definitely discuss is wedding guest number. I have always wanted a small wedding. Some people describe small as 30-50 people. That's not even close to what I mean by small. Easy and I both have a lot of friends, so we're looking at 24 people including us, our wedding party, and our two pastors. Add in immediate family and we're talking another 50. Then close friends and extended family, you know people who hop on planes across state lines to watch you graduate from college, and we're adding another 50 people. This is between the two of us.


Ideally, I'd like a "small" wedding with no more than 120 people. Easy thinks this is feasible, but we're already expanding the list. We talked a lot about who our wedding party would include and since our first conversation about it a week and half ago, we've added two more people each. His family is way bigger than mine and I wanted to use my extra number to invite more friends, but that's a difficult decision too because he'll want his close friends there too.


When it's finally time to sit down and make a firm (ha, I dream of final decisions that stay final) decision of who will receive invites, I already know we'll go above 120. And that will still be our "small wedding." It sounds more reasonable to me when I think of my brother. He and his fiancee were planning a wedding for this August, and they were looking at a couple hundred people. Also, a friend of ours got married last June and their reception had 350 people. They're ceremony had hundreds more. So in the world I come from, 120 is small.


But wedding size a big detail. The number of people will directly affect our overall budget. I'm excited and also a bit afraid to see how it will turn out. I don't want a big wedding budget and the number of people will blow that budget right out into the stratosphere if we're not lucky. Easy and I aren't very private people, so we've shared with our family and close friends (and even not-so-close friends) the situation.


The main reaction has been, "wow, that's a lot to have planned out to that much detail already!" I think they think we're completely crazy. But Easy and I don't listen. Being engaged for less than a year doesn't leave much time to sort out all those issues, so we're starting now. My mother recently told me that she and my father did the same thing. They were planning out the details of their wedding and marriage before they were officially engaged.


I know it's a leap of logic to make this assumption, but they've been married 32 years, so they must have done something right. And in just a couple more posts, I'll be used to discussing our discussions about this eventual wedding and will stop apologizing for it. Probably.

The Things I Know For Sure About My Wedding

I know I'm not engaged yet. So what. Easy and I have been making our own rules up to this point, so why stop now? I am at this moment giving myself permission to dream about, and plan for, the future which will be here shortly.

We have discussed what we want in terms of wedding party and guest list. But I have a confession to make. Ever since his comment about Mardi Gras, I've been paying more attention to wedding blogs. I can't quite bring myself to purchase a wedding magazine yet, so blogs are my way of looking into this without (hopefully) going completely wedding crazy. The following is what I know so far about my preferences for a wedding.

I don't want to get married in a church though I do want my pastor to do the wedding. And Easy's pastor should be there too. I've seen ceremonies that are interfaith that have two people officiating a wedding. I think it's not that odd to have two people over a wedding even though they don't come from different faiths.



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I want all my bridemaids' dresses to be different, but not so different that they blend in with the rest of the wedding dresses. I love all the dresses I've seen on different websites, but the ones that are too different just look like they're doing too much to me. I want all my brides to have the same color dress, but with different patterns that flatter their body type and a length appropriate for the weather of the season of the wedding.

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I don't want a traditional dress for me or tux for Easy. He has amazing taste in suits, so I know he'll come up with something great for the men in the wedding party. We saw this great suit idea at the mall one day, and he loved it, and I knew whatever he came up with would be fantastic. I wish I could have found it online, but I found something that conveyed the same sense of style. For me, a traditional white gown just wouldn't do. I need some pattern or color. I'll hold off on too much description until I start dress shopping and am able to determine that what I want is available.





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 I don't want to be bullied into inviting people to my wedding that I haven't already decided I want there. I think that's self-explanatory. Expanding a guest list for people that have to come is fine, but going way over budget so someone's feelings won't get hurt is not something I can even begin to care about.

I want a feeling of nature at my wedding. I'm talking tons of flowers, and maybe leaves and branches too. I love the feeling of being outside. And if we are going to get married in the winter, I have to have that sense of outside brought indoors.



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I want the music and food to be amazing. Seriously, food, music, and flowers will be the bulk of the wedding planning and cost. I have been to so many weddings where the meal was banquet roast chicken with mashed potatoes and string beans and a choice of water or iced tea. That's fine for some people, but I care waaaay too much about food to let that happen at my own wedding. Also, since Easy is a musician, getting amazing music from a live band/DJ will be no problem.

That's pretty much it for the wedding planning up til now. I have a lot of great ideas, and for me, keeping track of my preferences is the only way to not go completely crazy and forget my ability to make concrete decisions I won't regret later.

The Last Of My Dream Dates... And Back To Chicago

Date #3: Tuesday Afternoon. I thought we were going to spend the whole day inside, just hanging out when we first woke up. But then Easy announced he had some errands to run. He invited me along, but oil changes and hair cuts aren't exactly couples' activities unless they truly can't stand to be apart. I hope we're not that far gone yet.

And while I was waiting on him to return, I figured I'd get my day's blogging done. And then I have no choice because I was scared to leave the bedroom. I think Easy had booby trapped the door, possibly on accident. When I grabbed the handle to go to the bathroom, it came off in my hand. Door handles don't just come off. They are weakened over time before they give in. And I'm not the one always unaware of my own strength. I'm just saying.

Now back to the date. Easy got back from his errands and we got ready to go. We were off driving, headed towards the park that's right near Barnes Jewish Hospital. I always forget the name of that park. We stopped at the skating park section. We walked up to the door. And there was a sign on it that said "Skating Season Over." We looked over at the outdoor rink and it was melted, filled with remnants of the previous day's rain and snow.


Easy was so upset that for the second time, our attempt at ice skating had fallen through. I think he really is very good at surprising me with something that will delight me, just not when it comes to ice skating. I tried to make him feel better because he really tried and the thought did count. We tried to figure out an alternative plan and ended up going to the Galleria mall that wasn't that far away.


We went shopping where I discovered this new store that honestly makes me think of Forever 21 on an LSD trip. I'm not exaggerating. That was one of the most over-stimulated experiences I've ever had in a store. I had fun with Easy in the mall. I learned a bit more about his style, and felt like I got a better grasp on what I wanted my own style to be through trying to explain it to him. I think I'll write a blog post just about that.


Easy ended up purchasing for me a really cute shirt/dress thingee. I'm going to wear it as a dress cause I'm super short. It was basically the money he would have spent for us to go ice skating. We had fun walking around the mall laughing and holding hands and it felt like something you'd see in a montage in a romantic comedy, but it didn't feel staged or contrived. It felt natural and I liked it.


He did good with his three dates. A great plan, some kick ass backup plans, and a good sense of humor can make any moment feel perfect. And I'm extra glad I have this blog so I'm not that girl when I get around my girls in Chicago and unable to talk about anything except how wonderful Easy is. I will not be that girl!


So today I head back to Chicago. It will be the first time, I think, that Easy and I are both headed to Chicago and not going there together. But we both have plans and activities, so we are going our separate ways when we get to the city. But I know we'll spend waaay more time together the rest of the week than we should considering we've been together for over a week straight, and we haven't really spent time with anyone else. I am glad to be heading back to my city. Sweet home Chicago.

Spring Break! Whoo! And A Couple Of Dream Dates

Easy is on Spring Break right now, which is great because we've had more time together. I just wrote a post about us spending so much time together and me not being sure how that worked with my desire to have "me time".


But I also just wrote a post about us fixing a problem with only doing his things and not doing our things that often and hardly ever doing my things. But Easy came up with a solution to this all on his own. He said he would use the first part of his Spring Break to give me three dates that are not things we always do, but things that I have said I wanted to try. So today is the day I describe those dates.


Date #1: Sunday Afternoon. We headed to the zoo. This may not seem huge, but for people who know me well, it is. I love animals, I love being outside, and I love spending time doing what amounts to a whole bunch of nothing with the man I love. We got there pretty late because we were... distracted... and then we got a chance to look at some animals. This is gonna sound cheesy, but I don't care.

At the St. Louis Zoo, they have this butterfly/moth observing room thing. The weather and garden in there is always like early summer and those things are flying around in there just happy and enjoying the flowers. We walked around and watched them fly and land and fly and land. Easy took a couple of pictures. And it was all very romantic We had a moment where we stopped on the path and smooched. Luckily, we weren't the only couple in there, so I didn't feel to ashamed of our in-your-face PDA moment.

After the zoo, we went to this Thai restaurant in town I've been dying to try. Easy let me pick our food and even agreed to try some new tea without sugar. I'm just more familiar with Thai food than he is, so he was totally fine with me choosing the path of our meal. The food was great and now we have our favorite Thai restaurant in St. Louis. We laughed and shared food and jokes and it was just so much fun, like hanging out with one of my best friends.

Then we went bowling. I've been wanting to go bowling in St. Louis for while, and Easy finally made it happen. He was right when he said he wasn't a very good bowler, but he got better with a few tips. I'm not the world's best bowler yet, but I know a lot more about what good bowling is supposed to be than my skills yet show. But bowling was fun and cute because he gave me kisses for every pin above my average that I bowled.


Date #2: Monday Early Afternoon and Late Night. We woke up pretty early and started watching movies. I love going to the movies, but this past year (except during the summer when I was dating up a storm), I didn't go to nearly as many movies as I would have liked to. So Sunday night, we rented like six movies from Blockbuster, most of which had come out in the last year, and only one that I'd seen before.

We began watching the movies and they were good choices. Except for when I cooked us lunch and started preparing dinner, we just chilled in the living room, liking the fact that we both talk all during the movie, and glad that could pause and rewind when we had especially long comments to make. We watched Mega Mind, She's Out of My League, and The Expendables throughout the day.

Easy had a gig Monday night, so we went to that, but then came back home and got back to our date. I made us a delicious dinner (that was also healthy, yay!) and we spent the night talking and laughing. We don't do that much at night cause Easy is a morning person. I'm a night owl, so pretty much from 9:30 pm to 11:00 am, we don't get in much quality bonding time. I think he had plans for us to be out and doing stuff, but it snowed, in March, in St. Louis. Stupid snow. I figured maybe he'd just push the activities to the next day.


These dates were great and something we could have only done because he was on Spring Break. And not once did I wish I had some alone time. I think that's because I know we're headed to Chicago on Wednesday, and we're both taking our own cars, so we will be spending time apart very soon.


Tomorrow, I'll talk about how the third date went.

Solving Problems Almost Before We Know They Exist

Saturday night, Easy, Lion, and one of Lion's frat brothers, and I all went out. We went to the bar that Lion's family owns and then we went to a club. We had a pretty good time and shared a lot of laughs.


While we were out, somehow the conversation between Easy and me turned towards how we spend our time outside of the home either in St. Louis or Chicago. I realized at that moment that we hardly ever do the type of things I would do for fun if I were by myself. We spend most of our time out listening to live music (Easy may or may not be playing), or hanging out with his or my friends (there's also music involved usually there too).


Then it occurred to me, that I'd never spoken up about doing more things that I want. My girl Top has suggested things that she knows are coming up in Chicago that I might like to go with Easy too and I didn't even really consider the possibilities because I figured we'd be busy doing something else, like listening to live music somewhere.


This realization really hit me because I hadn't even considered it before. I love listening to live music, all types of music (except bad music). So spending almost all our time outside doing that wasn't, and isn't, an issue. But it is rather one-sided. So how did we fix it? Well, before I even truly came to the realization, Easy was working on a plan to do more stuff I like. Last night, he asked me what I like to do so we could work it into the equation.


I told him I'd already told him and wondered why I, yet again, would have to repeat myself. He left it alone and we didn't really talk about it again for the rest of the night. But this morning, when I woke up, he informed me that he had planned three dates for today and the next two days that would be centered around things I've mentioned to him over the months that I like to do.


After promising that the dates weren't extravagant or expensive, I agreed to the plan. I'm kind of excited because I can't imagine what things I said I like that he actually remembered and plan on taking me to do. I have expensive taste in some respects, but I also like simple things. I hope at least one of the dates takes advantage of the warming weather here in St. Louis. It still isn't as warm as I'd like (and as the weather keeps predicting), but it's getting there.


So, after I update Rants About The Real World, and Easy finishes working on this song he's writing, we'll be off on Date #1. Well, also after we go running. Easy went running by himself yesterday. I can't leave him hanging by himself, especially when it was my idea to go running in the first place.


I promise, I'll blog about it. I'm just so happy this is how we solve conflicts. Before the problem gets fully realized, it's fixed. I don't expect us to forever do things I like and would be doing if I were alone. He still has his music and I still love life music. But it's nice to know my stuff will now be put into rotation.