Friday, March 25, 2011

Trying To Have "A Small Wedding"

First, let me explain what's up with the multiple wedding-themed posts. I don't think I come off as a particularly crazy person. I'm not engaged yet, but I will be sooner rather than later (at least that's what Easy keeps telling me).

Since the thought of being engaged and wed and married came up and had such a concrete timeline, I began looking at wedding blogs. I may be fanciful and hopeful and a dreamer, but I'm also a planner and somewhat realistic. Easy and I want a short engagement. That's not a lot of time to sort out all the details required to plan a wedding.

Also, I love blogging. It's my new thing that keeps me sane. One of my favorite wedding blogs,, has bloggers. They choose women that are on their way to getting married and have them post blogs about the process. This is something that I would love to do and therefore am writing on my personal blog with the types of posts I would put on that website, should I be chosen to be a Bee. I am submitting an application at once I get engaged because we will be within the timeline of approaching a wedding they want when selecting new Bees.

I think I have a unique take on the idea of planning a wedding. I certainly don't see a lot of Bees that look like me (I mean African-American). Also, I'm doing wedding planning, with the help of the man I'll be marrying, before we're even engaged. I have a lot of great ideas I'd love to explore and so cross your fingers that they'll choose me! If they do, I'll let you all know how to read everything I post there, in addition to all the other great content on the website.

Something I would definitely discuss is wedding guest number. I have always wanted a small wedding. Some people describe small as 30-50 people. That's not even close to what I mean by small. Easy and I both have a lot of friends, so we're looking at 24 people including us, our wedding party, and our two pastors. Add in immediate family and we're talking another 50. Then close friends and extended family, you know people who hop on planes across state lines to watch you graduate from college, and we're adding another 50 people. This is between the two of us.

Ideally, I'd like a "small" wedding with no more than 120 people. Easy thinks this is feasible, but we're already expanding the list. We talked a lot about who our wedding party would include and since our first conversation about it a week and half ago, we've added two more people each. His family is way bigger than mine and I wanted to use my extra number to invite more friends, but that's a difficult decision too because he'll want his close friends there too.

When it's finally time to sit down and make a firm (ha, I dream of final decisions that stay final) decision of who will receive invites, I already know we'll go above 120. And that will still be our "small wedding." It sounds more reasonable to me when I think of my brother. He and his fiancee were planning a wedding for this August, and they were looking at a couple hundred people. Also, a friend of ours got married last June and their reception had 350 people. They're ceremony had hundreds more. So in the world I come from, 120 is small.

But wedding size a big detail. The number of people will directly affect our overall budget. I'm excited and also a bit afraid to see how it will turn out. I don't want a big wedding budget and the number of people will blow that budget right out into the stratosphere if we're not lucky. Easy and I aren't very private people, so we've shared with our family and close friends (and even not-so-close friends) the situation.

The main reaction has been, "wow, that's a lot to have planned out to that much detail already!" I think they think we're completely crazy. But Easy and I don't listen. Being engaged for less than a year doesn't leave much time to sort out all those issues, so we're starting now. My mother recently told me that she and my father did the same thing. They were planning out the details of their wedding and marriage before they were officially engaged.

I know it's a leap of logic to make this assumption, but they've been married 32 years, so they must have done something right. And in just a couple more posts, I'll be used to discussing our discussions about this eventual wedding and will stop apologizing for it. Probably.

2 New Hypotheses:

Oh, I get that. We were doing that long before we finally got engaged. It was fun, but still didn't get enough sorted. A lot of things can only be done in the 2 months and 2 weeks before the wedding. So it will still be a rush.

But enjoy, however long the planning takes.


I was starting to feel like it was just me, so I'm happy to hear someone else did preliminary planning too. I know there's a lot to do, so I do want to make sure I enjoy it, it's the only way I will not be stressed.

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