Tuesday, June 1, 2010

In My 20s Tuesday + Post-It Notes: Are You Really A Grown-Up?

***In My 20s Tuesday is all about things that should matter (maybe) to someone in their 20s. It's about life as we head into real adulthood. It's about laying the groundwork for a life: starting a career, setting up a home, starting a life with someone, etc. It's about things that will affect our lives down the road: politics, current events, pop culture, etc. Well, it's not about all those things at once (that'd be near impossible, lol). But hopefully it will reach someone in their 20s who's looking for someone to feel them and what they're going through.***

I came across a very interesting article on CNN today. It was posted yesterday. It's an article entitled Are You Really A Grown-Up? I had to take a close look at this article and its 10 things you have to do to be a grown-up. Let's see how I measure up.

• Face life's challenges head-on.
I would like to think I do this. I've dealt with the death of my boyfriend. I've dealt with up-rooting my life for a reason hardly anyone else thought was good enough. I (so far) can't imagine backing down from a life-sized challenge.

• Make peace with your body.
I have accepted that I am 5'0". I have accepted that I have fat cheeks. I have accepted that aside from a boost from birth control pills, my breasts aren't going to get larger. Aside from that, I refuse to accept the recent weight gain and therefore am eating better and working out more to fix it. But that's not a crash diet, that is a lifestyle change. I will be such a hot commodity because hardly anyone has a flat stomach anymore.

• Take responsibility for your heart.
I don't think I can claim to have this one taken care of. I often ignore my heart. I guess I just don't trust it to make wise decisions. I've so often regretted the choices I've made based on emotions. I think taking responsibility for your heart means being cognizant of decisions of the heart and accepting all consequences like a grown-up. Yeah... I'm still working on this one.

• Build a meaningful career.
Now that I've sorted out what exactly it is I intend to do with my life, there is much planning and organizing to be done. This one is definitely a work in progress. But I've got the meaningful part down. I just need to get the career part in order. Lord, I need a job!

• Learn how to handle the tough times.
I tend to withdraw into myself when times are tough since I feel I can handle it best alone. I think if I were really doing the grown-up thing, I would learn how to let others help me handle things. This is specific to me, not everyone. I like to have people around and involved in my life, except I shut them out of whatever part isn't going well. If I'm going to be a people person, I think I'd do better to be like that even when I'm not at my cheery best.

• Face your anxieties.
Eh, I sometimes face my anxieties. For instance, bringing up conflict makes me nervous. When someone else brings it up or starts it, I'm all over it. But starting it myself makes me anxious and nervous. I still haven't decided whether or not that's a good thing.

• Take ownership of your finances.
Having a source of income would make this one easier. I do have a pretty good idea of what my working budget would be based on the type of job I want and the type of apartment I want to live in. But that's not the same as actually doing it. I suppose I can claim some ownership since I've already worked out how I'm going to begin to repay my student loans. I only wish I were financially independent. That will come in time, I suppose.

• Master the use of your time.
Nope, never been good at this. I will get lost in a book or in a mall or at a beach and lose my entire day. I tend to work better with strict deadlines. Without them, I work on laissez-faire time, lol. I still get everything done, but I've never felt that I make the most of my times. I wonder if I could change that about myself, would I actually feel more grown-up, or just more stuffy? I suppose it'd be a good skill to learn before I have to balance career, hobbies, family, etc. It would be nice to have good time management when I don't have much to manage.

• Practice dynamic communication.
Listen and respond. Listen and respond. Hitch had it correct when he told his clients to do this. In order to be a good communicator you have to talk and listen. You also have to understand that communication is not just what you say, but how you mean it and how the other person takes it. Without paying attention to all these parts, communication falls apart. Yep, I think I've got this one covered, but like some others, it's still a work in progress to constantly improve my communication skills.

• Find the right level of flexibility.
I think I may be too flexible. But it's usually easier for me to be flexible more so than others. I have the least responsibilities and the most free time. I'd like to think that others would be flexible for me if the situation were reversed. I'm going to say yes for this one.

I think I have about 6 1/2 of these. Not bad. I'm 65% adult, lol. I could be better. How do you measure up?

7 New Hypotheses:

I think you are doing pretty good! I know people well into their 40's and 50's who haven't mastered many of these!


I think being able to make a list like this says a lot for your maturity and adulthood-status! When you know your strengths and make a concerted effort to improve your weaknesses then you're on the right track. As for me... well, I still screw up and make mistakes. But I think a big part of becoming an adult is realising that being an adult doesn't always mean getting it right!


@kt moxie: Thanks! I know some too, but I think it's better to match myself up against people who are doing well, lol.

@Kirsty: I think you're so right. Being an adult is about recovering and learning from your mistakes, not completely avoiding them.


I saw this article today and was scared to read the whole thing - I'm like a 12 year old girl in the body of a 35 year old. "I've got an idea! Let's sell our house and start moving around the country living in any fabulous city I can think of!" You are doing awesome (way better than 99.9% of the people I know) - and for certain you can check off the job situation and handling any situation head on.


Grow older, grow wiser but never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, (deep inhale)ever, ever, ever, grow up!
Becoming a grown up is quite possibly the worst thing in the world a person can do. Take your responsibilities seriously but live life through the eyes and wonder of a child.
I still look for shapes in the clouds, want to fly a kite on a breezy day, own and occasionally play with a yo-yo.
You have to have a sense of childlike wonder in your approach of anything....
Just some advice from an old kid that still swings on the swing-set....


Yeah, somehow I don't think I am an adult yet. That was actually really interesting though as it kind of gives a blue print of what makes an adult.


I can complete relate to the facing your anxieties part. Change really gets to me. Even more so as I get older because the changes are so instrumental to shaping the rest of my life.

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