Monday, September 27, 2010

Trial And Error To Build A Life

Anyone who is friends with me hears me talk a lot about looking back on years gone past. As a 25 year old, I don't have a lot of years actually behind me yet, I know. But, when I look back, I'm quite happy. High school was so much fun. College was even more fun. I wish I hadn't wasted three years at medical school, but it's not really a waste because I use the knowledge I gained there damn near everyday.

All of this thought about time past is because I'm about to turn 26 in two weeks exactly. A full quarter of my life (probably less since I'm American) is behind me. Will I look back on these years past and be happy about them?

By cutting my life up into little chunks, I think the answer is definitely yes. But when I step back and look at the bigger picture, there are some things that stand out. I've wasted a lot of time on guys past their expiration date. I spent a lot of time preparing for medical school and not doing other things with my time.

But then again, by being so focused on making my high school career attractive to a good college and making my resume attractive to a medical school kept me out of a lot of foolishness that other teenagers and college students were involved in. I had to make time for my foolishness, so it is foolishness I ultimately don't regret.

And from each guy I wasted time on, I'd like to think I learned more about myself and about how I deal with guys. Clearly, I don't have it right yet. But I'm getting there. Maybe. Well, I do have evidence that I'm getting there because It only took me 8 weeks to be done with Easy's bullshit even though it took me that many months to be done with PT's bullshit. Bullshit maybe isn't fair. Neither of them were just that into me.

I think I'll look back on this time and not remember it as the level of fun from previous years, but certainly with more lasting life lessons. You should learn things quicker as an adult. At least I should, since I just keep making adult versions of earlier mistakes and not realizing it's the same mistake until I get the same outcome with the same feelings in the same situation. Then I'm like, oh duh!

I'm going to write another post soon about the things I've learned since my last birthday. That way this post (this rambling, let's be honest) won't be unbearably long.

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