Going With The Flow... Sort Of... Well Not Really... Mostly Just Analyzing

When I think about the type of romantic relationship I'd like to have, I become very idealistic. I think of things like endless romance, deep conversations, attending civic and religious events together, and an amazing physical connection.

Is this ultimate combination of a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical connection even possible? I'm sure I don't know. I think about my boyfriend from freshman year and I think we came pretty close.

Then I think about the Ex, and he I and were pretty close too when things were good.

But those are two relationships that will never be rekindled. One is dead and the other has wasted enough of my time for me to be completely over him and any thoughts of us.

So of course now when I think about those possible connections, it's in consideration of Easy. He and I have definitely have a physical connection. That was the first thing we noticed about each other.

Well, a physical and a mental connection are the first things we noticed. We have a ton of fun together and never get bored with each other's company, but that's only half mental wink, wink.

Whether or not we have a spiritual connection will take time to see, but we've established an ability to discuss our spirituality as openly as we discuss everything else, so there's promise there.

And as far as emotional, that's difficult to ascertain as well. He's a very emotional guy and he wears his heart on his sleeve. But he's also impetuous. I'm very emotional, but I deny and ignore my emotions whenever possible. And his over-the-top and ever-changing editing emotions make me only that much less interested in having any emotions that concern him.

But while I'm keeping these thoughts in the back of my mind, I'm trying to stay in the moment when I'm interacting with him, and so far it's going well.

What Easy and I have decided is that we are going to continue to talk on the phone when we feel like it. That's been every day since he came back so far. Also, we are going to go out on some fantastic date he has planned the next time we're in the same city.

I think I may go down to St. Louis to see him next week. I'm still undecided, but I'm leaning much farther that way than I was couple days ago. So I figure by next week, I'll be completely okay with that plan.

And to make things even better, we are not going to date other people. It's not because we're making some huge commitment to only be with each other. It's more because of my discomfort with how things turned out between us over the summer. He and I are just going to date only each other and if either of us decide we don't like where it's going, we let the other person know and the we stop dating.

I like this plan very much. It gives me a safer feeling than not having that understanding. I don't know why and I do get that it's not the most rational thing. But it relieves a lot of the apprehension I previously had about Easy.

Talking to him is completely enjoyable and I am just going to go with that for now. That and all my constant obsessing with what it all might mean.