Saturday, November 13, 2010

An Honest Effort To Be Friends Goes Awry

I mentioned in a previous post how Leo and I were going to be just friends.

That lasted all of two weeks. Leo texted me Saturday while I was out with my mother and grandmother.

He asked why I had cut him off, but stated that perhaps he deserved it. I couldn't figure out why he would deserve being cut off, so I ignored that part of his statement.

"I didn't cut you off. I said we'd be friends. I didn't say we'd be close friends." That's what I texted in response.

After some back and forth, the story was that he wanted to give me space in case I was upset with him about how things turned out between us but that he didn't expect to not hear from me at all.

It's true that the only time I texted him was the previous Sunday asking about his agony over his beloved Cowboys football game loss.

But I had bigger man concerns than my newest friend. If we weren't looking at seeing if we could date each other, that made him no longer a priority. I could get to know him whenever, no rush.

I let him know that he was free to contact me whenever he wanted. If we were going to be friends, he wouldn't be a bother. He asked what I was doing that night to see if we could hang out.

But I had girls' night out, so I told him to get at me the next day or next week.

He reaches out to me at 10 am Sunday morning talking about he's in the area and wants to hang out.

I politely let him know I think he's a crazy person because I have to be at church. I remind him that Chicagoans are not like Dallas folk. We don't just show up in a person's neighborhood when we live an hour away asking to chill. At 10 am. On a Sunday morning.

I tell him I'll call him after church. I had a busy Sunday. Dealing with Gloria's son's father, losing my storage unit key, searching out food, youth group anniversary at the church. Its was a long ass day.

I text him Sunday night to ask if he's embarrassed for his Cowboys. They really got their asses whooped on Sunday.

He was a bit upset with me because he was expecting a call at 1 pm an instead got a text at 8 pm. I was too tired to point out how his being upset wasn't okay.

I asked him if he wanted to hang out the next night and he agreed. So Monday after yoga, I head up to Leo's place to chill for a few hours.

By the way, there was a bomb scare in Chicago that night, so traffic was crazy. You should google "Addison bomb scare, Chicago".

While Leo and I are hanging out, everything seems great. He's telling me about this speed dating thing he did the previous week. We're laughing and having a good time.

I breathe a sigh of relief that we could actually be friends. And I'm confirming that I truly don't want to date him anymore. I can' t be friends with a guy I want to date. But with Leo, that wasn't going to be a problem.

As I'm making a mental note to invite him out the next time my Chicago group of friends goes somewhere, I'm also noticing the time.

I don't want to stay there past midnight because people get tired and start heading to bedrooms, and I just wanted to avoid that whole situation until I had several confirmations that he was definitely on the friend page with me.

He walks me out and makes this comment about how I'm not persistent. Then he expresses surprise/admiration that I'm really just trying to be his friend.

I let him know I didn't suggest friendship as a ploy to stay around and try and convince him we're meant to be. If we want vastly different things, we need to be just friends. So I head home.

Then Tuesday, he texts me saying he feels bad he didn't make dinner for me the previous night. He lets me know he's cooking and invites me over.

I tell him I need a rain check because I'm driving to St. Louis. And that's when the fight started.

His stance in the fight was that he didn't think it was right for me to hang out with one guy one night and then head to another state to hang out with another guy the next night. He thought I shouldn't have been in St. Louis to give Easy a second chance.

My stance in the fight is that Leo is a crazy person because he has no right to be upset about anything if we're just friends!!!!!

I let him know that Easy didn't pop back up until I thought Leo and I were done. And that since we decided to be just friends, I figured it would be fine for me to see what Easy had to say.

I also let him know that I told him numerous times that I can't be friends with someone I want to date. So hanging out with him the night before I head to St. Louis wasn't weird. It was me catching up with a friend. Lion, Bad, and Sonny would never pull that shit.

And why would they never do it? Because we're actually friends. Apparently Leo didn't mean that shit like he said he did. I let him know that he could stand to try and give more people second chances.

Ad then I stopped responding to his texts because he and I aren't friends anymore. I guess we never were.

Easy was happy to hear that Leo and I aren't going to be friends anymore. I was with him while this fight was going on so he knows what happened.

If I'm writing another post about Leo, I hope it's to say that he apologized for being a crazy person and he'd like to try and really be friends. The chances of that happening are slim to none though.

2 New Hypotheses:

I really can't be friends with guys after there's been romantic feelings involved, at least not for a long time afterward. It's just too weird.


I can't either. But I had gotten rid of my romanic feelings. He just apparently hadn't gotten rid of his.

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