Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Has Trusting My Instincts Been Going Well? Good Question

I wrote a post two weeks ago about learning in yoga class to have a focus for self-improvement. My focus has been to be in tune with my body, mind, and heart so that I can trust my instincts. Since that time, I have taken a look at myself to see if this pointed focus has had any tangible results to yield.

In terms of my body, I feel like it has gone well. I'm proud of my diet. Not diet like a crash diet to lose weight. I mean diet like the food I eat every day. I make good choices, and my diet is well-balanced. My yoga practice has yielded some amazing results.

I noticed yesterday in class that my shirt was loose. This shirt fit pretty snugly when I first started yoga. I'm not obsessed with constantly being smaller, I'm obsessed with being healthy. And when I'm at a point where things that shouldn't jiggle don't, then I'll be happy.

There is a plateau I will reach where the body I have, the food I eat and the exercise I do will all be in balance and there will be no more losing weight or inches. I will finally be able to shop for clothes without fear of them being too small this time next month. I've already altered some of my clothes on the sewing machine. I'm hoping that won't become an unfortunate habit.

In terms of my mind, I'm feeling pretty in touch with my instincts. It's been a while since I've thought about the best decision to make and then done something else. And every time I've listened to my instinct/conscious, it's ended well. I can trust my judgement completely I think.

That's been very useful for things like career planning, advice given to friends, and building the life I want. I'm looking forward to making more decisions. And yes, I'm aware how corny that sounds.

In terms of my heart, well, let's just say it's not going how I expected. I expected to be currently working on being single and dealing with that. And I'm still single, just with a footnote. Easy basically just offered me everything I've always said I wanted. Leo is there offering his version of a safe relationship. If I had to decide right now, I'd pick neither one. I think that decision is crazy because that's not at all what I would have said was my heart's desire a week ago.

Getting in touch with my heart has been the most difficult part of trusting my instincts. I've never been in touch with my emotions unless tit was emotions about shoes of puppies or something like that. But I'm working on it because I don't want to make the wrong decision and contribute to breaking my own heart.

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