Thursday, June 2, 2011

Gonna Get Married, But There's More To My Life, Part 1

I have only 8 1/2 months to plan a wedding! Yikes! What was I thinking?!?!

Well, I know what I was thinking. I love Easy so much, and I wanted to press fast forward on the process toward becoming his wife as much as possible. Still having a wedding that falls 1 year 7 months 9 days after we first met is pretty good timing I think. I'm just glad Easy agreed with me that moving forward at this speed is the best idea for the two of us.

That being said, there are other things going on in my life. 1. Men I used to date who still don't know I'm engaged yet. 2. Looking for an apartment. 3. Settling into this new job and the financial situation that goes along with it.

1. Yeah... so I didn't send out some sort of mass text to everyone I've ever talked to that may or may not pop back up again. I think that would just be odd. And since I'm not on Facebook, I don't have the benefit of spreading the news simply by changing my relationship status.

So what is my plan of action? I figure I'll tell them if and when they pop up. Except two got ahead of schedule; instead of popping up after the engagement, they popped up a few days before I was engaged.

One is my ex-boyfriend from college, who I have referred to as Light in my other blog, texted me to see how I was last week. I feel like I should tell him because we have so many mutual friends and I'm sure he will be offended if he doesn't hear it from me. But we only catch up every couple months or so.

Since we caught up last week, I'm wondering if I should call him up to tell him or wait until the next time it's reasonable to be back in contact and risk him hearing it from someone else? I only care because our break-up and subsequent roller coaster friendship cause quite a bit of hullabaloo amongst our college friends.

I don't want to once again be the asshole who didn't consider Light's feelings in the situation. Plus, if he were getting married, I'd like to know. Actually, I don't care, but I feel like I should care, you know?

Then there's PT. This is the guy I was still-sort-of-dating-but-definitely-still-liking when I met Easy. In fact, I wrote an interesting post comparing the two men that you can read here (sorry for bringing that back up Easy). PT popped up again right before I got engaged wanting to catch up.

I mentioned in a previous blog post that we planned on going for coffee but I have PT firmly in my unreliable category, so I didn't expect that we'd actually catch up. But he texted me again to set a specific time for Thursday evening to go have coffee. I feel like somewhere in there I should have mentioned the life changes, but all I mentioned was the new job. It just felt... weird... to bring it up via text. And when we first talked about meeting to catch up, there was no engagement.

Waiting to say, "I'm in a relationship now" makes sense. Waiting to say, "I'm engaged now" makes less sense. But the major concern is that I met Easy before PT and I were done. We were fizzling out, but weren't done yet.

When we fizzled out, I figured I'd never have to hear from him again except for the next time Cody Ross (google him, he's awesome) does something fantastic, and even then it wouldn't be to catch up, it would be a quick conversation that wouldn't include information about either of our lives.

If I'm lucky, he'll have a girlfriend and simply be interested in being one of those people who stays friends with all his old flames.

I wish Easy were the type of guy who was against staying friends with exes. But both he and I are pretty nonchalant about it. I'm nonchalant cause I mostly don't care to maintain those friendships myself, but I'm not the jealous type. He does in fact maintain those friendships, but he's also not jealous. So I have no reason not to try and make the best of these interesting situations.

I coffee tomorrow goes well and drama free, I may take the plunge and call up the ex from college before he hears it from someone else. And then I'll handle anyone else who pops up out of the woodwork as they arise. I guess that's what happens when I go through an.. abridged.. process towards the altar.

My friends who date people for like 5 years don't have these issues.

2 New Hypotheses:

Congrats first of all. I never did get a chance to say that. I think handling them as they pop up is best! I think any other way would appear strange.


Thanks! I was definitely going to just wait, but then reaching out seemed like a better idea. And with Easy's suggestion, I think I was able to do it without coming off strange or like I was bragging.

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