Sunday, March 6, 2011

In A Relationship, One Of Your Most Important Jobs Is PR

Disclaimer: [I know Easy reads every blog post I put up. But I promised I wouldn't change what I was writing just because he was reading it. So this is a rant-y post that ordinarily I wouldn't share with him. But at least it makes me a better communicator because I want to give him the less rant-y talk version of posts like this before he reads them...]

I thought that was common knowledge, but I was wrong. It is not something Easy knows. The people in my life have the highest opinion of him, even knowing what happened back in August. But his people, have a... realistic opinion of me.

The last time I was in St. Louis, I was sick. Easy told me he'd take care of me and he didn't. I had the most terrible sore throat and I felt he was doing such a horrible job as a caretaker that I didn't/couldn't say much to him. Then his mother called one morning after I was talking again (and had resigned myself to taking care of myself).

"Is ole girl talking to you again?" That's what she said. In case you don't speak Ebonics, let me translate.

"Is that girl whose name I can't be bothered to remember still ignoring my precious baby who deserves nothing but adoration and love? What's wrong with her? I need you to understand from my tone that this whole situation reflects badly upon her and she is the only one I see at fault."

I wondered what in the hell Easy had told his mother to make her come to the conclusion that I was somehow neglecting him. I was the one who was sick and un-taken-care-of. And to my face, I am always called by my name. But when she thought I was at home while he was on his way to work, suddenly, I was "ole girl."

The only reason this has come up in my mind again is because of a conversation Easy and I were having about our possible future. I told him about the conversation I had with my mom about the possibility of forever and how it quickly devolved into mother-of-the-bride-zilla. I asked if he had had a conversation with his mom about the possibility of forever and he said, "yeah, I mean she knows you're my girlfriend and she knows we have discussed living together and she knows I like you."

Um, not the same thing. Not even close. I'm not saying Easy is a momma's boy, but he's damn close. And if he hasn't talked to his mom about this stuff, there's no chance in my mind that it could actually be real. His mom certainly knew the whole reasoning behind him picking that other chick over me back in August.

Which brings me to my main point. Public Relations. That is your job when you are in a relationship, especially the early stages. The people in your life only see that person through your prism until enough time has passed to form their own opinions. My mother certainly would never refer to Easy as "ole boy".

Easy sometimes does a really good job of being a great PR person. He just usually does it to people who are already on board with our relationship. Be a PR person for the skeptical mother, just like you would for the couple whose wedding we met at. Is that so much to ask? Seriously, I thought this was common knowledge.

2 New Hypotheses:

Being a Pr person to the general public and being one for your mother/father is totally different. It sounds like as much as she knows you all together, he has not come forward with explaining to her just how serious it is. That would seriously bother me. And perhaps it's a discussion the 3 of you can have that any type of misinterpretation can be cleared up. After all, if forever is in the cards, you want your deck clean.


When I wrote that post, they hadn't cleared things up. At least in terms of seriousness, but by the time it was posted, it has been cleared up. Which I'll explain in another post sometime this week.

But yeah, there's definitely some issues with the mother there. Hopefully it won't become a chronic problem.

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