A Bit Of Pre-Emptive Worrying

I was on the phone with Easy last night and he seemed incredibly distracted. I thought maybe it was because he was tired.

He had a very long day yesterday. He's an elementary school music teacher and last night was the winter concert.

It was a huge deal and everything went well, but he was tired afterward.

Turned out that was not the reason for his being distracted. He was reading my blog. He says he finds it really interesting.

So that means he will keep reading my blog. I wonder what it feels like to read about yourself through someone else's words, especially with a different name.

He definitely is experiencing something similar to what my friends have experienced. It's already changed the names he uses.

He usually calls me by a different nickname. But last night he kept calling me CeCe.

That made me laugh cause it makes me think of how Camille call's Bad's girlfriend Jordan in everyday convo, not her actual name.

And Top doesn't refer to Easy by his actual name, she usually just calls him Easy.

I was thinking about all of that as I listened to him comment on what he was reading.

I thought about that and the fact that I'm going to St. Louis for another visit on Monday. I'm going to spend some time with Easy before he heads to Europe.

Then that made me think about how much I'm going to miss him. It's been there in the back of my mind, but it's so close now.

This time next week, he will be away on God only knows what kind of schedule.

He and I have sort of settled into a schedule of when we talk and text. But all that will change in a few days.

Once a certain time hits, I won't be able to look forward to a call from him and hearing about his day. That makes me sad.

But the realistic person in me is now reminding myself, and all of you, that this schedule wasn't set in stone to begin with. We've only been talking everyday for a number of weeks now. Weeks, not months.

So logic tells me, "calm down chick. It's not that big a deal. He'll be back in a few weeks."

What are the chances that logic will win? I need a cartoon accountant to run the numbers on one of those ticker tapes calculators while wearing a visor and smoking a cigar. I'm going to say the chances aren't good.

I really hope I'm not foolish to look forward to when he gets back in January. The plan right now is for me to pick him up from the airport and go with him back to St. Louis.

If I get a job by then, I guess those plans can change. But they can also change if things between us are different when Easy gets back.

A lot can change in a few weeks. I'm hoping nothing changes. But I won't know until January.

Until then, I'm going to do what I do best. Have hope and optimism and all that crap.