An Unplanned Evening

Easy wasn't able to get online tonight. Which sucks.

There could have been any number of reasons why he wasn't able to.

The wifi could've shut down at the hotel. Or his roommate could've been using the laptop. Or he could've fell asleep.

They've been on a hectic schedule since they got there. They've been almost literally all over Spain.

Even though I really miss Easy and was looking forward to talking to him, not talking to him tonight taught me something.

I am okay if something doesn't pan out like he says it would.

A number of weeks ago in the not so distant past, that would have been a huge red flag and I would be looking to run unless he had a really good explanation.

But today, my trust is not so easily shaken. I'm able to think of lots of plausible reasons why he wasn't where he said he'd be.

The evening ended up being quite eventful. Michelle and her sister came over. They stayed for quite a while. We were watching tv and laughing and joking.

It would've been fantastic fun if it weren't for the fact that my nasal passages were becoming more and more inflamed and I couldn't really breathe right.

And to make matters worse, every other commercial on the tv promised solutions to nasal congestion. And all the commercials fixed inflammation, not mucus.

It was like being taunted. I wasn't going to leave the house to go get medicine. The last time I left the house, I got sick.

A discussion of New Year's Eve came up and nothing got settled. I don't know what's going to happen.

I may just stay sick so I can't go out rather than feel disappointed.

I guess we'll see what happens.

But back to Easy. I wish I had an outside interpretation of my reaction to his not being able to chat online tonight.

Is it that I really am gaining more genuine trust for him or is it that being in love blinds me and makes me more accepting of flaws (at least in the early stages)?

Top always says that saying "I love you" is the easy part.

It's the time after that when things get tough because then you have to back it up. I hope me having more trust is a starting example.